This is kinda disturbing…

Watch out kitty, ’cause there’s someone hot on your tail looking for some serious e-fame. They may not be the fastest, but turtles are starting to make a name for themselves on the internets. I can’t quite pinpoint exactly what it is about turtles that’s making this happen, but it’s happening.

Maybe it’s the colour?
Green reminds people of St. Paddy’s Day, and drunkenness on the internets is an instant win.

Maybe it’s their shell?
It’s kinda like a badass Snuggie that also works as self-defence.

Maybe it’s their speed?
They’re easy to catch and therefore easy to photograph and place on the internets.

Maybe it’s because of TMNT?
They never really got old, but I’ve seen more of them online in 2010. Maybe it’s just me.

This really all started with I like turtles…

I like turtles

Zombie Jonathan didn’t realize it, but he really started the turtle renaissance on the web back in 2007.

Turtle sex sounds really cute

… with a shoe.

Turtles can smile?

Who knew they were so happy? This is a new phenomenon that I can get behind. I mean just look at them.

Turtle stacking is popular

Dear owner of multiple turtles,
Please stack them on top of each other. We like this.

Sincerely,
The Internet

MOAR stacking pics here…

Cats <3 turtles too

The internets is now full of turtles…trust me.

So earlier this week as I was flipping through the virtual TV guide listing I saw that Robocop (no wiki link necessary – you know you love Robocop) was on at 8:30pm. “Wicked!”, I said to myself. “I’m recording that for sure”, and I did. Little did I know that the Rogers guide was wrong (shocker!).

Serendipity is a crazy thing. Robocop was actually starting at 9pm, but lucky for me (and now you) I was introduced to the 1984 awesomeness of The Adventures of Buckaroo Banzai Across the 8th Dimension.

AMAZING!
Look at that movie’s title!
And look again at that pic I posted… it’s in lolcat speak!!!
In frickin’ 1984!!!

Hit the jump for videos….

I have no idea what the plot of this movie is, but I definitely noticed the lolcat speak. It’s almost perfect grammar by today’s standard.

“NOBUDY CUMZ IN HERE – SEKRIT”

I think the sign in the above screencap was written by the aliens in the movie, but I’m not really sure. Naturally this lead me to the conclusion… lolcat is the language of first contact. Forget morse code or five-tone musical phrase – aliens speak the language of the internet: lolcat. How else could this forgettable 80s movie have predicted this future vernacular? Aliens must have told the writer/director 20+ years ago.

Okay, back to the movie.

Now that I think about it, I really wish my PVR had recorded the entire Buckaroo movie instead of just the final 30 minutes. At first I was disappointed to not be watching Robocop busting baddies right away, but then the bizarreness of this 80s classic really won me over.

From what I saw, this movie has:

• Awesome 80s music
• Awesome 80s fight scenes
• Awesome 80s special fx
• Awesome 80s rubber masks
• Awesome 80s acting
• and Peter Weller

That last point is what really confused me when I started watching. I mean, he looked like Robocop, but he wasn’t a robot. He could have still been a cop though, I think he had a gun. At first I thought CHCH TV messed up and just started airing the movie at the wrong point… but then the aliens came in… with their rubber mask faces. Admittedly it had probably been at least 15 years since I last saw Robocop, but I think I would have remembered him 1) not being a robot, and 2) instead of bustin’ Detroit baddies it was rubber face aliens wearing full dress suits (?!).

Who knew the dude from Robocop was in more movies? And who from CHCH TV thought to make it a double-bill?

Buckaroo is also full of win because of the cast.

Check out all the names you’ll probably remember:

• Robocop-dude
• John Lithgow
• Ellen Barkin
• Jeff Goldblum
• Christopher Lloyd
• Jamie Lee Curtis
• Dan Hedaya
• and Yakov Smirnoff!!

AMAZING!

Here’s a parody infomercial brought to you by Milk. Those dairy farmers know funny.

In case you haven’t yet heard, Chat Roulette is taking the webs by storm lately. It’s definitely getting it’s 15 minutes as the internet flavour of the week. After last week’s NY Times article, I’m seeing the site mentioned everywhere I go (online).

It truly best the internet has to offer… and at the same time, the NSFW worst.
As of this moment, there are >20,000 users online. It’s getting pretty popular.

If you haven’t gone there for at least a few minutes, you’re really missing out. It’s an interesting study into the voyeurism and anonymity that is the internet. I could go on for a while about the in’s and out’s of what the site has to offer, but this documentary below does an amazing job at showing what it’s all about.

There’s also lots of great lol-worthy screenshots on Buzzfeed here and here.

ENJOY! But watch out too.

1. Friday, Vancouver – lighting the 2010 Olympic flame
2. Saturday, Dallas – winning the NBA skills contest for the second time
3. Sunday, Dallas – starting point guard for the NBA All-Star game, in-front of the 108,000 fans (largest in NBA history)
4. Today, the internet – he’s the one-man show in a pretty decent parody commercial, showing some real comedic acting chops on YouTube.

You’re making Canadians look good Steve. Keep it up!

Here’s the best thing I saw on the internet today.  Just looking at the White Goat logo makes me LOL… it’s a goat eating yer work papers.

Get ready for your favourite internet animals to ‘asplode!

Click through to see some more fun with After Effects.

I know some people who want to do this when stupid people cause them problems.

Professional boxer, football, baseball player AND coolest typing teacher evar!
Is there anything Ron “Typewriter” Mingo couldn’t do?