Anxiously awaiting “One more thing…”

Posted on Jan 18, 2010 in tech | 10 comments

Okay, I’m really excited for next week now. I hate to say it, but I’m a sucker for all of Apple’s marketing techniques. Their planned product leaks play me like a fiddle. With every new rumour that flies across my Twitter stream, I just can’t resist clicking! And over the last few weeks we’ve been inundated with new reports on the Apple trifecta. And the January keynote is always the best, so I know we’re in for something good. Historically this is when the coolest stuff gets announced. This year will be the most interesting keynote since the 2007 iPhone announcement.

If I were Steve Jobs, this is how I would introduce the products:

1. New iLife (blah)
2. Tablet/iSlate (yippie!)
   and “One more thing…”
3. iPhone OS 4.0 (maybe meh? dunno yet)

New iLife

First off, you start with a new version of iLife. What’s with them not numbering them anymore? I guess it’s iLife ’10. This part of the presentation will be boring. Steve will show off how the new software lets you zoom in and out on your pictures with ease – “like butter” as Jobs is known to say. Maybe they’ll offer some new features, but really it’s just photo cataloguing and dummy website building so I don’t know how exciting it’ll be.

If they were really smart, they’d introduce an auto-LOLcat maker into the new iPhoto. I can see it now… import an image of your pet and the software automagically attaches the funniest caption possible and uploads it to icanhascheezeburger.com for you! Brilliant. Finally a timesaving feature I can get behind.

Tablet/iSlate

Everyone knows this is coming; it’s no big surprise by now. So, now we get to the meat of the presentation. This is the time, approx. 1pm Eastern time on Jan.27th, 2010, where I’ll be feverishly pressing refresh on all my live-blogging favourites (engadget, gizmodo, tuaw, etc.). What will this Jesus 2.0 device do exactly? I have so many unanswered questions right now…

• What’s the name? – will it really be teased in the playground and called the “Apple iS late”?
• Will it just be a big iPod? – it better not be because I already have my iPhone, so why would I need it? It can’t be that simple. I know that it’ll run a version of the iPhone OS, that’s a given because of the huge success of the iTunes App Store, but it’s gotta do more…
• Will it have 3G access? – probably. This thing can’t just be wifi because I want to take this with me on the go. Also, this device shouldn’t totally cannibalize the MacBook and iMac lineup. It’s gotta be a companion product that complements your internet experience when you’re away from your desk. So means it needs to have 3G. And I hope you got that unlimited (or 6 gig) data plan with your iPhone, because this badboy will be tied to your wireless account. I’m guessing the data will be shared via a SIM-card that’s connected to your existing plan. But if this doesn’t work that way… man will I be upset. If I need to pay another monthly data bill ontop of my home webs and mobile webz, then I’m out. Well at least for the first six months. Then I’m sure I’ll cave.
• How will you type on it? - nobody’s 100% sure on this yet. If I were a betting man, I’d place my money on handwriting recognition with a stylus. This is a crazy bet though. When Jobsie announced the iPhone back in 2007 he basically said everyone who used a stylus for the their phone was stupid, but given the fact that people aren’t sold on typing on their iPhones all the time there has to be another way.
• … I could go on… – but I won’t. There are too many questions about this thing. But I do know that if it’s available for under $1,000, I’m sure I’ll be getting one. I think it’ll fill the web-surfing-while-watching-tv need that I have. Right now the iPhone does this, but something bigger would be nice. 95% of the time it’ll be a TweetDeck device that lets me see the social media commentary of whatever I’m watching. Kinda like MST3K, but more texty.

and finally, the famous “One more thing…”.

I feel like it’s been forever since we’ve had an eye-popping one more thing revealed to us at the end of a keynote. The last cool thing I remember being unveiled at the very end was the Apple TV in 2006. All of the recent one-more-things have been lame and predictable. I mean really, announcing the new MacBook after the new MacBook Pro? Really?!? Gee, I didn’t see <sarcasm> that </sarcasm> coming.

I hope that Apple is able to surprise us, but I doubt it’ll happen.

So, after all the buzz of the magicTablet has exploded on Twitter and the Apple Store goes down, Jobs will say those magical three words everyone loves to hear, and he’ll bring it all back to the iPhone.

iPhone OS 4.0

The key here is OS, as in operating system. My guess is that Jobs will say: “One more thing… your iPhone just got smarter”. Well he won’t say it exactly like that. I’m sure that Apple marketing will have jazzed it up a notch. Maybe calling it an awesomephone is the new term? They should definitely make fun of the Nexus One and it’s self-proclaimed ‘superphone’ status. Nevertheless, the iPhone OS will get a massive update.

For a while now people have been saying that the latest iPhone update has been on hold until the Tablet was released. Probably because they share a lot of the same code base, and releasing the iPhone update would show everyone out there what they’ve been hiding up their sleeve. This makes sense.

So my big hope for this “One more thing…” part of the big show, is that the iPhone gets an update to give us multi-tasking and all the other items that Android and Nexus One have that the iPhone doesn’t. The product hardware is still incredibly solid, and is the industry leader in touch displays almost 2 years later, so I don’t expect anything dramatic this time around. Maybe a new camera with a flash, but that’s it.

But please Apple make me wrong. Give me something I’m not expecting!

If there is a new iPhone that completely blows the current generation away, I would love it. They would have really fooled all the bloggers with one of the biggest curveballs yet. Just imagine if the Tablet isn’t the only big announcement next week?

What if they drop subscription TV on us instead?… Hmmm….

And just for old times sake, here’s my fav part of the 2007 iPhone keynote. It’s amazing how much this changed our world forever by giving us YouTube lolz in our pocket.